Strength, Peace and Joy

8-23-09

One thing I love about working with Alice is the quiet. I have time to sit and be quiet and pray, listen, think. This morning in my quiet time (which, unfortunately, is becoming a rare occurrence), I was asking God to show me where my heart is. I’m entering into new territory in my life. I’m experiencing new feelings and I have no clue what they mean. That’s where God comes in. I like to journal my prayers and I like them to be in letter form. God is not some being in the sky who I only turn to for help. He is my friend. To borrow lyrics from Nichole Nordeman’s “I Am”, He is my comforter, healer, my redeemer. So putting things into a letter to God helps me see the relationship and forget the religion. So I was journaling and I was remarking on how it felt like it took me such a long time to shake off some old habits and get to where I am today. I was worried about slipping back into my old self when God gave me the word “strength”. I turned in the concordance to the section on strength and I found the following verse:

Psalm 29:11 The Lord gives strength to his people; the Lord blesses his people with peace.

That really struck me. For so long, I was focused on peace. Life was so, so, so crazy I couldn’t stand to think beyond one day in advance. He gave me peace. But He doesn’t just give me peace, He gives me strength, too. It’s not me alone in this; it’s me and Him. I read on a little further and I was hit by another verse:

Psalm 30:11 You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me in joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent.

The use of the word “heart” literally means “glory”, which, according to my NIV study bible, means “the core of one’s being.” He has clothed me in joy so that the core of my being may sing to him and not be silent. It got me to thinking, have I been missing joy? Have I been so focused on just getting by that I have been missing out on his joy? It took God spelling it out for me to get it, but I think I finally got it. My mission this week: let God clothe me in joy.

And joy couldn’t come at a better time. School starts next week. As the stress level rises, I pray that joy does as well.

Spring Cleaning: Not just for your closets and cupboards.

No rants or raves this time. Just a (hopefully) normal blog post. Since I know that wishing for another day of free time doesn't usually get you anywhere, I'm going to try to make the best of today. I've already gone through my closet and pulled out clothes to either give away or store because they don't fit or are for different weather than what we are currently experiencing.

I lead a very boring, "homebody" type life. I hope that I can get all my laundry done, perhaps wash my bedsheets and bathe the dog, go through my stuff in the garage and get some food for the week. I'm in a "throw everything away" mood. This is the perfect mood to be cleaning the garage. I used to be a total pack rat but now all I want to do throw everything away. I've been reading Real Simple magazine for almost a year now (speaking of which, if anyone wants to order me a subscription, mine is about to run out. ;) ) and it has helped me refocus my life and rearrange my priorities.

I've started to realize that I don't need things. I may want them, but I don't need them. Things don't hold memories, I do. The object in question may bring it back to mind, but I won't forget simply because I don't have that thing anymore. One suggestion Real Simple makes is to take a picture of an object with sentimental value (that either isn't functional or is just too bulky) and then donate or sell the actual piece. The picture will remind you of why the piece was important without creating more clutter than is necessary.

I've started to enjoy yoga, which was a complete surprise to me. My goal in life lately has simply been to be at peace with myself (with my decisions, with the way things are unfolding). I find that yoga really relaxes me and centers me (whould'a thunk it??). I've found that what helps keep me surrounded with peace is to have an uncluttered living space. Seeing as how I can't control what the rest of my house looks like (thanks to living with my family :) ), my room is my sanctuary. Since we have moved in January of this year, my room hasn't been that place for me. I've been too tired to fix it up and it's a vicious cycle (I'm tired, but my room doesn't help rejuvenate me, so I stay tired). Well, today I'm going to tackle the problem areas; the places that are disturbing my peace.

Another thing that helps me maintain my peace is connecting with God. I have the scripture of John 14:27 tattooed on me because I want it to be a permanent reminder.

John 14:27
"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."

When my family and I went to the group meetings at AA for my dad, we were told that anger is a sign of fear. I notice that when I live in fear (will I make rent, will I pass my classes, is everything really ok?) my peace is gone. There is a difference between living in fear and trying your hardest to be prepared. This verse helps keep me living in the moment instead of in the future (and the future is a scray place). God has a perfect plan. It just may not be my plan.

Well, this has been a rather long post. Now that I've spent a good 30 minutes in front of the computer, it's time to jump with both feet into my ToDo list.

Real Simple quote:

"In all chaos there is a cosmos, in all disorder a secret order."

—Carl Jung