An Open Letter:

Dear Family and Friends,

As many of you know, I decided almost 2 years ago to embark on a new career path. The debate on what I should do with the rest of my life had been going on ever since graduation from high school in 2005. I started out wanting to become a teacher. This is something everyone has always told me I would be good at and it's something I enjoy. After spending a little over 2 years at a community college with Liberal Studies in mind, it occurred to me that while I enjoy teaching, it isn't something I want to do as a career. A few months after that, I thought I had finally found my ideal major: kinesiology. I had lost weight and my health and mood had improved greatly and this was in direct correlation to leading a healthier lifestyle. I wanted to study why food and weight affects people the way it does and I wanted to help people who were in a situation that I had seemingly conquered. I am still fascinated by the direct relationship between food, exercise and mood. However, after taking a required First Responder class, I discovered what I believe to be my true passion, becoming a Paramedic (and maybe with a little Firefighter on the side).

Emergency medicine has always been glamorized. Shows like E.R. and Trauma show smart, beautiful people saving lives at a fast pace. I'm not going to lie and tell you this wasn't part of the attraction. But for those of you that have read my previous blogs, you know that's not the main reason I want to become a Paramedic. If you've ever had to call 911, it probably wasn't because everything was going just fine and dandy. You probably called because everything was going wrong. So wrong, you couldn't fix it on your own and you couldn't wait for a friend, family, or a doctors appointment. This means that you know the way it feels when someone who knows what to do shows up. You feel safer, relieved (and you usually start to feel better!). I have said this before, but I want to do that for people. I want to be someone's calm in the chaos. I love the fast pace, the adrenaline rush. And, in all honesty, I love that it is not prolonged care. I'm not with someone for days at a time. Essentially, I pick up, treat, transport, drop off. It's quick and effective. There are other aspects to this career that I enjoy, too. Probably too many to list, so I'm not going to try.

The path I have chosen is arduous and life consuming. It took hard work to get to where I am now and it will take more hard work to get to where I want to be. That's what this blog is about. I want you all to know what will be happening in the next year or two.

As of right now, I am an EMT employed by a private ambulance company where I work 40+ hours a week. I also nanny 1-2 days a week, if time permits. At the end of this month, I will begin Paramedic Prep (which is just what it sounds like it is: a class that prepares you for the Paramedic Program). I will be in school 2 days a week and I will be working 5 days a week for a little over a month. After that class, I will hopefully be beginning the San Diego County Fire Authority Volunteer Firefighter Academy in El Cajon. Once that academy is completed, I will be volunteering one day a week at a fire station. I will, presumably, still be employed with the ambulance company, as well as still nannying. This means I will be busy 6-7 days a week. Come August, I hope to have been accepted into the Paramedic Program. This will launch me into a very busy, hectic schedule of class work and then eventually clinical and internship hours. I plan to resign from the ambulance company and nanny 2-3 days a week during this time. I have no idea how busy I will be. I'm assuming I will be in class 3 days a week (all day), working 2-3, studying the rest of the time. Following my completion of the Paramedic Program, I plan on going into the Fire Academy offered at Palomar. In order to do this, I will need to be getting myself physically ready prior to beginning the academy. This means that on top of school and work, I will also be in a training of sorts in preparation for the academy. At the end of this whole process, I hope to be employed at a fire station in North San Diego County. I don't have a real time line, though I have been saying that I hope to have reached my goals within 5 years (and that seems like a plausible amount of time).

Now, all of this information has been leading up to this very moment. The following is the whole point of this blog:

You may not see me for up to 5 years.

This may sound harsh, a little unrealistic, perhaps a tad dramatic. But I want to prepare you for the worst. In order to reach my many goals, I will have to be unequivocally dedicated. My life will become as follows: Study, eat, go to class, study, eat, workout, sleep, study, work, study, workout, study, eat, sleep (repeat as necessary). You will ask me to do something. I will ask if it involves any of the aforementioned items (combining several of them is always a bonus). I will most likely decline.

Please, please, please don't give up on me! Know I want to see you, want to spend time with you. Know that your support and understanding has made the process so far much more tolerable. Know it will get worse before it gets better but that it will get better. Know that when I say no, it tears me up inside. I will do what I can to make time for "fun" things. Unfortunately, I am one of those people that really, really values sleep. So, if it comes down to hanging out with people and getting 3 hours of sleep or getting 6 hours of sleep, I'm going to choose sleep. When you talk to me, all I will most likely talk about is what I'm learning about. I will be so tired from all my busy work, I probably won't even listen to what you say! Please, please, please, PLEASE don't give up on me!!!

I love spending time with my family and friends. I love the memories we make and the stories we tell. I value your advice and the listening ears/shoulders to cry on. I'm sorry I may not be there for you the way I have been and the way you have all been there for me. It will all be worth it. (Trust me, you want me to excel! You don't want to call 911 and get an F-Tard. You want the pro's)

If you take anything away from this whole, long, drawn out blog, let it be this: I will say no to hanging out, I will not listen when you talk, you may not hear from me for weeks. But I love you. And I need you. Please be patient with me.

I think I have (finally) run out of things to say... Looks like it's time to go back to paper writing and studying!

Tomorrow keeps getting further and further away:

Well, folks, it's that time again. The time of hopes and dreams and goals. The time to turn over a new leaf.

We are rapidly approaching "New Years Resolution" time.

Oh, goody. Not that I think resolutions are bad or anything, don't get me wrong. It just seems that people seem to be stuck in this though process where you can only make resolutions in January, you can only start something at the beginning of the week, month, day, etc... "I'll do it tomorrow" is a phrase we hear (and say) far too often. Why wait to make a change? Do January and Mondays (and tomorrow, for that matter) have some sort of magical you-can-do-it power? I think not. So, I'm making November Resolutions.

My first goal? Drop 20 pounds in 2 months. Can it be done? Why yes, yes it can. It hit me last night as I was trying to fall asleep that I will be a hire-able EMT as of January 10th. I want to be in the best possible physical condition I can be in when I go on interviews. I know they ("they" being the private ambulance companies) aren't looking for little, teensy, "fairy" people, but they also want someone who can handle, say, maneuvering a stretcher with a 180 pound person on it down several flights of stairs.

My second goal? Stay on top of my school work. I know deep, deep down, that if I spent a mere hour a day doing homework, I'd be much better off than where I'm at now. So, I'd like to start spending an hour a day, not including class time, studying or doing homework for one of my classes.

So, today marks Day One. I'm lucky that my every-other-weekend job affords me the luxury of getting some homework and studying done. So, while Alice reads, I'll read, too. I'll read my EME book and my chem lab manual. After I get off of work, I'm going home to change and then I'm headed to the gym. I have a relatively sizable goal for myself today: burn 600 calories in cardio, then do some upper body strength training. I figure I can do the cardio in about 45 minutes and the strength training in around 30. One thing I have to give Kyle, my former trainer, is that he taught me how to maximize my workout time (Thanks, Kyle!). I can get an entire full body strength training workout done in less than 45 minutes. I like the way I feel after a good workout, too. Strong, healthy, vibrant, accomplished.

What does the Bible say about this? you may ask. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 says

"Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body."

I'm sure you've heard that your body is God's temple. And I'm sure you've scoffed at the thought, too. I have! This doesn't mean worship your body. It means take care of yourself! And taking care of yourself doesn't mean you need to be able to run a 6 minute mile and that you never eat bread. Taking care of yourself means eating right, exercising, praying, laughing, sleeping, loving, living. And don't forget to find joy in life! Even in the worst of times, there is joy.


Enough talking! Time for me to get out there and do it!


To do list:

• Chemistry - If I don't do it today, it probably won't get done. On the agenda: post lab, pre lab and write-up
  

• EME - It won't kill me to not read the chapters, but it's a good idea, especially if I'm doing a round in the ER on Thursday

• Gym - I always feel so strong, powerful and even beautiful (yes, even when I'm drenched in sweat, wearing no makeup, a t-shirt and sweats). 45 minutes of cardio or 600 calories, whatever comes first.
• Grocery store - I'm setting myself up to fail if I don't have the proper tools and the right food is one of those tools.

On a side note, I'm wondering how coherent and fluid my blogs are. Do they jump from topic to topic or flow smoothly? Oh well, no time to wonder about that. Time for homework!!!