I need to get some stuff off my chest. It might be scattered and unorganized and I might rant a little bit, so consider yourself warned.

In the beginning of this whole process, I made a post that basically said "don't expect to see or hear from me". Does anyone remember that?

Well, I remember it. And I've been living it. I see my local friends maybe once or twice a month. There are people who make an effort and will work with my schedule to come and see me, so I see them more often. It doesn't mean I care less about the people I don't see as often. I hope everyone remembers that.

Not only is it difficult to see friends and family often, sometimes it's even difficult to talk to or text them. Don't take it personally!! I can name a handful of people who I haven't really talked to since this whole paramedic thing started. These are people I love and care about, but it hasn't worked out for us to talk or get together.

It sucks for me, probably more than it sucks for you. And it makes me mad that I feel like I have to explain myself to people or justify why I see some people more than others. I am under a ton of pressure and I don't need any more. Please, please, please, just bear with me. There are some relationships too important to lose over something like school.

And you know what, we all have our own lives going on. We all have work, school, relationships to deal with and I don't expect people to drop what they're doing and come see me when I have free time. I hope no one expects that of me. And I'm sorry if I seem disinterested in things outside of school. And I'm sorry I want to see my boyfriend and that I make more of an effort to see him.

I hope this post is met with understanding and that it lets you in on what's going on in my head. Most of my friends have my email address, so if you want to talk to me, email me! The pen pal situation is much easier than talking on the phone, texting or getting together. It gives everyone a chance to respond at their own convenience and then the responses can be lengthy.

Hang in there, friends. I'm almost done with didactic and then there's just clinical and field internship. Just stay with me for a few more months and then I'll be back.

Also, the Facebook is coming back for winter break. I hope to be able to reconnect with everyone then.