This is real life

I just read a few status updates on Facebook and it got me to thinking (dangerous when that happens, I know!). Please note there is some over sharing that goes on in this blog. :) You've been warned.

As I write this blog, I'm getting over a cold I've had for almost a week, eating pizza I made last night, drinking guava flavored coconut water. I'm listening to some new music I just downloaded and I'm still in my pajamas. My bank account is overdrawn, I have $40 cash that is for gas for the next week and I'm pmsing like no ones business and am on the period from Hell (first there's rage, then there's crying, then happiness... There's no winning right now...). My car is about to die (I just know it is... It's on the edge of  the car-death cliff and it's starting to tip), and I have no means of getting another one. My hours are unstable at work, I'm actually not sure if I'll be able to support myself without picking up a third job. The job already comes with a lot of pressure and it's going to get worse before it get's better.

I write all these things not because I'm complaining, but to give some insight into my life. I've been trying to complain less and be grateful more. Some days I don't succeed and I complain a lot :) I have been living in such a constant state of stress, it's become almost normal for me to feel some degree of anxiety or worry.

I find that on my worst days, the only thing I can do is admit my mistakes and my short comings and pray like God is walking right next to me, a constant conversation (sometimes a desperate plea to get me through the day).

Here's where I begin to rant...

I have not had an easy life, but in all honesty, even with all the shit that's gone down, it's a damn good life. I am proud of who I am, I am proud of what I've made out of my mistakes.

Your life is what you make it. Things happen, good and bad. No one escapes tragedy or hardships in some form or another. What matters is how you handle it. Do you grow from it? Or do you wallow in it?

As soon as you start accepting responsibility for your life and stop making excuses or blaming others, life takes on new meaning. There is pride in a life lived well. You will find fulfillment in hard work and simplicity.

Be the person you would want to be with. Be honest, caring, kind. Have boundaries and enforce them. Believe that you are worthy of being treated well and don't stand for being treated poorly. Don't play the pity game. No one finds the "woe is me" mentality to be attractive. Again, be someone worth dating. Don't beat yourself up when it doesn't work out. Being single does not mean you have to be lonely. And honestly, if you can't handle being single or alone with yourself, you're not ready to be in a relationship. Take a cold, hard look at yourself and really consider what you offer. Give yourself some credit on the good things you bring to the table. Don't be overly critical about the things that need improvement, just start working on it!

I have a POS car, but it runs (and it passed the smog test, yay!).
I am single, but I am not lonely.
I don't have a place that feels like it's mine, but I have a safe place to live with good people.
I don't get the hours at work I would like to, but not only do I have a job, it's a job I love.
I am tired of being sick, but I am so so glad I am getting better and I am otherwise healthy.
I'm broke beyond my imagination, but I have everything I need and then some.
Sometimes my friends and family piss me off, but they are there for me and know I'm there for them.

This is real life, friends. And it's damn good. :)