We all have an inner dialogue and it is constant. Some call it "self talk". And it is in this self talk that we tell ourselves the biggest lies. And everyone does this. Negative self talk happens, at one time or another, to everyone (to some more than others). Ever thrown yourself a pity party? Usually there are two guests at a pity party, you and your inner dialogue.
Now, if you're like me at all, you have a go to negative thought or phrase that loops in your mind. This phrase/thought is usually a lie. Mine is that I'm Not Good Enough. For years and years I've struggled with this lie. And when I say struggled, I mean STRUGGLED. Countless nights spent upset or in tears, a constant voice in my head telling me "you can't do that, you're not good enough. You're not worth it. You're not worthy." That makes it difficult to achieve just about anything.
Weight loss, school, career advancement... My inner self has constantly told me (sometimes still tells me) I'm not good enough.
And after many, many discussions with my mom, friends, a therapist, I started to become able to recognize that these thoughts were lies. Acknowledging that these are lies is the first step in healing and gaining a sense of worth. Next you must replace the lie with the truth. THIS is the hard part. And I'm not good at it at all.
In a conversation with my mom earlier today, I told her that my self talk has been very, very negative the past several days (weeks, even). She told me I need to take those thoughts captive and replace the lie with the truth. She then suggested that I take some time, get in a quiet place, and ask God to replace the lie.
So that's what I did.
THE LIE:
You're never going to become successful in your career.
THE TRUTH:
It takes time and work to be successful and I've already come a long way, even if I still have a ways to go.
THE LIE:
You will never lose the weight, you have no self control, you will be fat for the rest of your life.
THE TRUTH:
Self control is learned. I have lost weight already and will continue to make progress, even if it's slower than I'd like.
THE LIE:
When people (your friends) stop needing you, they'll stop spending time with you.
THE TRUTH:
Now this lie hurts pretty badly. And while some people may be using me in times of their need, it doesn't mean everyone is.
THE LIE:
You're not smart, funny, pretty, entertaining enough for people to want to be around you.
THE TRUTH:
This goes along with the above lie... Because the truth is I AM smart. I AM pretty. I AM entertaining. And people DO want to be around me... Not everyone does, but when I think about it, I myself don't want to be around everyone!
THE BIG LIE:
You're. Not. Good enough...
THE TRUTH:
I am. I am valuable. I have worth. I have things to contribute to the world and to those around me.
It's time to stop believing the lies. Take the negative talk, the self doubt, the insecurities, and replace them with truths. Ask God, ask a trusted friend or family member... We all have things we need to work on, but we all have good qualities. We are all valuable and worthy and worth it and GOOD ENOUGH.
So today, in my hormonal, emotionally fragile state, I will remember, simply, I am good enough.
(Ehhh so I'm pmsing and you didn't want to know?? Too bad!)
