I try to get a therapy session in every couple of weeks. Last night I was talking with my therapist, Pat, about the general goings-on over the last couple of weeks. Somehow, she used her therapist magic, and we got on the topic of self esteem and self worth. (And she has this way of making me feel so completely comfortable that I don't even hesitate or think about what I'm telling her).
Well, of course, she asks me a question (which I don't remember) and I start out with "my whole life I've felt less than--"*cue crying*.
You're good, Pat.... Ohhhh you're good.
Anyways, it comes out that I don't feel good enough and have felt like this for a good majority of my life, starting before I can remember. So we delve into that for a little bit and then she asks me if I know what an ego trip is. Of course I do, I respond, I've worked with many prime examples! (Ba-dum-chhh!)
Pat gives me a courtesy laugh and then continues on. "Well an inside out ego trip is the opposite of an ego trip. Instead of feeling more important and better than everyone else, you feel unimportant and less than everyone else."
I paused, let it sink in for a minute.
Hmmmm. An inside out ego trip!! Meaning its all in my head? I'm neither less than or better than anyone else? I'm just here? Just me? "Yep!" She replies. "You just worry about being your best you."
And then I think to myself, THAT I can do!
Side note: losing inches and gaining muscle! Fire academy, here I come! In a year! ;) (progress has to start somewhere)
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