Simple:

It really is too bad life can't be simple in it's entirety. Very few things are cut and dry, black and white. There are lots of shades of gray.

But a few things are simple.

For example, Owl Cities' song "Meteor Shower":

"I can finally see
That you're right there beside me
I am not my own
For I have been made new
Please don't let me go
I desperately need you

I am not my own
For I have been made new
Please don't let me go
I desperately need you"

11 lines. 50 words. Simple.

I was in an Owl City mood last night, but this song really hit me this morning. I don't know what the song was written about, but I know what it means to me.

Each day I wake up is a blessing. God has given me a purpose, I just need to live it. Too bad He won't just explain it all to me, it would save me a lot of grief. I hate messing up. I make a lot of mistakes. But He has taken me and made me new and that means second chances (and third and fourth and fifth and sixth...). Forgiveness is a wonderful thing. It feels good to receive it, it feels good to give it. Resentment never pays off. It's actually bad for your health to hold resentments. It raises your blood pressure, changes what hormones are released and what amounts are released. It's best to just let go.

As Grace has been telling me, just go with it. What happens, happens. Simple plan, complicated execution. Practice makes perfect, so I'll keep trying.

On another note, I need to see a freaking chiropractor! My lower back is killing me. I can't sit comfortably. I can stand, walk, run, lay down, but sitting is too painful to do for longer than 10 minutes at a time. Looks like my Tuesday just got busier.

I'm really looking forward to the gym tonight. I'm going to try to get Christy to play basketball and do some boxing with me again. My wrist started bugging me last week, so I didn't get as much time with the punching bag as I would have liked. I'm hoping one of the trainers can show me how to wrap my wrists so I can really wail on the bag without doing permanent damage. My knuckles are usually red and sore afterward no matter what. It's a badge of honor. :-) Plus, it makes me feel totally bad ass.

I need to learn how to cook. I can get by with the skills that I have, but when I'm a fire medic, I'm going to be expected to have better culinary skills. Plus, the better I can cook, the less time I'll be spending cleaning the bathrooms. The ones who can't cook can do that. ;-)

Time to shower, get my room at Alice's tidied up and do some homework. It looks like my goal of writing my firefighter health and heart disease paper will have to wait. I need to finish my a/p vocab first.

Spring Cleaning: Not just for your closets and cupboards.

No rants or raves this time. Just a (hopefully) normal blog post. Since I know that wishing for another day of free time doesn't usually get you anywhere, I'm going to try to make the best of today. I've already gone through my closet and pulled out clothes to either give away or store because they don't fit or are for different weather than what we are currently experiencing.

I lead a very boring, "homebody" type life. I hope that I can get all my laundry done, perhaps wash my bedsheets and bathe the dog, go through my stuff in the garage and get some food for the week. I'm in a "throw everything away" mood. This is the perfect mood to be cleaning the garage. I used to be a total pack rat but now all I want to do throw everything away. I've been reading Real Simple magazine for almost a year now (speaking of which, if anyone wants to order me a subscription, mine is about to run out. ;) ) and it has helped me refocus my life and rearrange my priorities.

I've started to realize that I don't need things. I may want them, but I don't need them. Things don't hold memories, I do. The object in question may bring it back to mind, but I won't forget simply because I don't have that thing anymore. One suggestion Real Simple makes is to take a picture of an object with sentimental value (that either isn't functional or is just too bulky) and then donate or sell the actual piece. The picture will remind you of why the piece was important without creating more clutter than is necessary.

I've started to enjoy yoga, which was a complete surprise to me. My goal in life lately has simply been to be at peace with myself (with my decisions, with the way things are unfolding). I find that yoga really relaxes me and centers me (whould'a thunk it??). I've found that what helps keep me surrounded with peace is to have an uncluttered living space. Seeing as how I can't control what the rest of my house looks like (thanks to living with my family :) ), my room is my sanctuary. Since we have moved in January of this year, my room hasn't been that place for me. I've been too tired to fix it up and it's a vicious cycle (I'm tired, but my room doesn't help rejuvenate me, so I stay tired). Well, today I'm going to tackle the problem areas; the places that are disturbing my peace.

Another thing that helps me maintain my peace is connecting with God. I have the scripture of John 14:27 tattooed on me because I want it to be a permanent reminder.

John 14:27
"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."

When my family and I went to the group meetings at AA for my dad, we were told that anger is a sign of fear. I notice that when I live in fear (will I make rent, will I pass my classes, is everything really ok?) my peace is gone. There is a difference between living in fear and trying your hardest to be prepared. This verse helps keep me living in the moment instead of in the future (and the future is a scray place). God has a perfect plan. It just may not be my plan.

Well, this has been a rather long post. Now that I've spent a good 30 minutes in front of the computer, it's time to jump with both feet into my ToDo list.

Real Simple quote:

"In all chaos there is a cosmos, in all disorder a secret order."

—Carl Jung