2010

What are we calling this year? Twenty-ten? Two thousand and ten?


With the start of this new year, I think I would like to change the name of this current blog. "It's reality" just isn't doing it for me anymore. So, I'll get even more original and cal it "Honestly".
2010 is going to be different. One of my words for the year is going to be "Honesty". Enough of living beyond my means, enough of talking myself into relationships I know aren't good for me, enough of pretending I am always ok. It's time to get honest.

Honestly, I am scared to death of finding a new job. I am scared to death of the fire academy and the paramedic program. I don't know if I am brave enough or good enough to be an EMT or a fire fighter or a paramedic.

Honestly, I feel like I'll never be physically fit. I know it doesn't happen over night, but for goodness sakes! It's been 22 years!!

Honestly, I've been single for so long, I don't even know how to be in a romantic relationship! And if I get into the academy and/or the medic program, I'm not going to have any time to learn how to be in one.

Honestly, I've wandered so far from God, I don't know how to find my way back.

Honestly, I don't know how to handle my own money successfully.

Honestly, I bought a guitar and don't think I am dedicated enough to learn to play it!

Honestly, I don't feel like I "belong" anywhere. I'm just here. I just exist. The need to belong is paralyzing.

Well, that was a very honest look at my life. I think it's time to start back at the basics. For me, it begins and ends with God. I'm going to have to go way back to the first real comfort I found in God in my adult life.

John 14:27 - Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

 I'm done living my life based on fear and inadequacy. It didn't help me much in 2009 (or the rest of my life, for that matter) so it has no place in 2010.

And that's the honest truth.


Bahahahaha! I couldn't resist! I've always wanted a signature sign-off.