Some Thoughts and Observations:

First of all, one of my November Resolutions has basically fallen through the cracks. Chemistry is really not my thing, not my niche. There is no grooving when it comes to chemistry. It dawned on me a couple weeks ago that school is almost over. I have a whopping 59% in my chemistry lecture class and just over 2 weeks to pull it up. I had deemed it impossible. My mom, however, wanted me to talk to my teacher and see if there was anything I could do. As it turns out, if I can pass the final, my teacher will pass me. Her exact words were "if you can prove to me that even though you didn't know this stuff earlier, but you know it now, that's all I need." So, I now have around 12 days to study my butt off for the chemistry final.

This brings me to my second point in this-here blog: I am a mere 3 weeks from becoming a nationally certified EMT and it's FREAKING ME OUT! Not only is there a ton of stuff left to be done, but that's a huge life change. I went on my official Palomar ride along and I was overwhelmed by the mere process of patient assessment and documentation. The way these EMTs moved was like they were connected at the brain. They anticipated the others next movement, always staying a step ahead. Why does this scare me, you ask? I was asked to lift the head of the gurney into a sitting position and it took me a good 30 seconds to figure it out. Needless to say, they didn't ask me to do too much more after that. One of the guys quized me on a bunch of respiratory diseases and it only pointed out how very little I know.

I was thinking about medic school last night. It's going to be a huge commitment. I asked my instructor how many units it is and he said somewhere between 36 and 40 units.That's an incredible amount! And unit fees are about to go up to around $30/unit. That's about $1000 for the medic class and we have to buy a TON of stuff (equipment, uniforms, books). And I probably won't be able to work much during the semester, so things will be tight.

But, first things first: Pass EME 106/L, pass chemistry.

Now on to some observations. I noticed Friday morning that I've slipped back into praying only when I need or want something for God. Even as I'm uttering a "Lord please get me through this" I feel bad. God isn't there for me to use when I want to and then forget about. That's not the way a healthy relationship works. If I could think about God as being just the big guy in the sky, it'd be very easy to use God as a pay-as-you-go service. But God is more to me than that. Why is it so easy to fall back into old habits?

Ok, enough blogging. It's time for me to get moving. Chem homework, EMT notecards and notesheets, laundry and cleaning my room, full patient assessments on Andrea, Aaron and my mom. Busy day. :-)

Procrastination:

When life gets tough, the tough get going, right? Yes, that would be ideal. However, this is not the case today. I have a midterm Wednesday in my EME class (25% of my grade in a class that I love) and two chemistry exams on Tuesday and I don't know of much that could motivate me to study right now (aside from failing. That might motivate me). I desperately need to review my OB, patient assessment and signs/symptoms lecture notes for my midterm. I need an 80% or higher to pass the class... I am NOT dropping this class halfway through the semester. I am NOT going to retake it again. *sigh* But I still don't want to study.

Rant:
Chemistry. It sucks. As my cousin put it, Chemistry and I have no chemistry. I love to balance equations and once I get the formula's down, I love to do the math. My problem right now seems to be that I don't really understand what the heck I'm doing! I'm hoping a study session on Sunday will clear things up, but there's no telling how much information I'll actually absorb and retain. I could, technically speaking, give a rats ass about this chemistry class. But, the thing is, I need this class to take anatomy and physiology. Plus, after this chem class, I'll have an AA with an emphasis in mathematics and science (finally).

Rave:
Getting a license to drive an ambulance. How cool is that?!? I need to go and get all the forms from the DMV next week so I can get that taken care of. It makes me more "hire-able" according to my EME instructor. I'm super jazzed about becoming an EMT (and eventually a paramedic). I really do think it's one of the more perfect jobs for me. I get to go into any given situation, take control, patch people up and send them on their way. Too bad it pays just barely above minimum wage when you first start. And I have to suck it up and get over the fact that I will look like a square, boxy man in the uniforms. So perhaps I should follow Nike's slogan and "Just do It" and go study.

Other stuff:
I think I'm either going to hire a personal trainer (you know, once I win the lottery and become a millionaire) or take some sort of physical training class to get me to where I need to be physically. A guy from my EME class was telling me some of the physical fitness tests I have to pass (be able to run an 8 minute mile?!?) if I end up becoming a firefighter as well. Plus, even as an EMT, I have to be able to move and lift people and equipment. If I go on to do something totally awesome like work as a S.W.A.T. medic, I'm going to need to be in peak physical condition. I need to apply Nike's slogan to my ENTIRE life and just do it!

Hmmm... I guess I should go study, then. The idea of failing any of my classes and having to retake them makes me physically ill... That might be enough motivation!