Some Thoughts and Observations:

First of all, one of my November Resolutions has basically fallen through the cracks. Chemistry is really not my thing, not my niche. There is no grooving when it comes to chemistry. It dawned on me a couple weeks ago that school is almost over. I have a whopping 59% in my chemistry lecture class and just over 2 weeks to pull it up. I had deemed it impossible. My mom, however, wanted me to talk to my teacher and see if there was anything I could do. As it turns out, if I can pass the final, my teacher will pass me. Her exact words were "if you can prove to me that even though you didn't know this stuff earlier, but you know it now, that's all I need." So, I now have around 12 days to study my butt off for the chemistry final.

This brings me to my second point in this-here blog: I am a mere 3 weeks from becoming a nationally certified EMT and it's FREAKING ME OUT! Not only is there a ton of stuff left to be done, but that's a huge life change. I went on my official Palomar ride along and I was overwhelmed by the mere process of patient assessment and documentation. The way these EMTs moved was like they were connected at the brain. They anticipated the others next movement, always staying a step ahead. Why does this scare me, you ask? I was asked to lift the head of the gurney into a sitting position and it took me a good 30 seconds to figure it out. Needless to say, they didn't ask me to do too much more after that. One of the guys quized me on a bunch of respiratory diseases and it only pointed out how very little I know.

I was thinking about medic school last night. It's going to be a huge commitment. I asked my instructor how many units it is and he said somewhere between 36 and 40 units.That's an incredible amount! And unit fees are about to go up to around $30/unit. That's about $1000 for the medic class and we have to buy a TON of stuff (equipment, uniforms, books). And I probably won't be able to work much during the semester, so things will be tight.

But, first things first: Pass EME 106/L, pass chemistry.

Now on to some observations. I noticed Friday morning that I've slipped back into praying only when I need or want something for God. Even as I'm uttering a "Lord please get me through this" I feel bad. God isn't there for me to use when I want to and then forget about. That's not the way a healthy relationship works. If I could think about God as being just the big guy in the sky, it'd be very easy to use God as a pay-as-you-go service. But God is more to me than that. Why is it so easy to fall back into old habits?

Ok, enough blogging. It's time for me to get moving. Chem homework, EMT notecards and notesheets, laundry and cleaning my room, full patient assessments on Andrea, Aaron and my mom. Busy day. :-)